Jac, life and all that..

Women are locked in a constant battle with their weight/body shape/hairstyle.

Mums are often harassed but NEVER depressed/unable to cope.

Any act of male stupidity (e.g. walking across a clean floor in muddy boots, putting the dog in the dishwasher, etc.) will be met with a wry smile, not genuine annoyance/anger.

Anyone with a scientific career will have a bad haircut and dreadful clothes.

If you work for the emergency services, you are a better person than the general population.

Children will not eat fruit or vegetables. Ever.

Both men and women find driving deeply pleasurable, never boring or stressful.

Men are inherently lazy/slobbish; women are the reverse.

Chocolate, however, will cause women to immediately fall into the languor of the opium eater.

High Street bank staff are (A) friends of the customers, and (B) of slightly above-average attractiveness (only if female).

Modern men own a cat/dog.

All women (except stay-at-home housewives) have interesting and enjoyable careers.

Any over-the-counter medical product will work instantly and 100% effectively.

Children know more than adults.

potato chips are the most exciting experience any group of young people can experience.